If you missed part I, you can read it here:
I had mixed emotions about being played so effectively by my daughter at the UT football game. Part of me was proud of her abilities. She was definitely my daughter and it was extremely well played. The other part of me was not so supportive. I hate to be embarrassed. And to be outwitted by one of my kids? Well, let’s just say that didn’t sit well with my overly competitive nature. So, after being torn for about 37 seconds, I vowed my revenge. I would find a way to return the embarrassment plus 10 percent.
It took a while but my moment finally came. We were at one of our favorite Mexican restaurants one Sunday after church. We were eating with most of my family, which meant we had four teenage girls there. On this particular day, Emily seemed to be particularly obsessed with talking about how hot various celebrity guys were. No father ever wants to hear his daughters talk about that. A father wants to believe that he will always be the main man in his daughter’s life. Of course, that day had long since passed with Emily. I'll never forgot walking into her room when she was 9 and asking her who the most handsome man in the world was. Every other time I ever ask her, the answer was me. Not this time. Without missing a beat, she said "Justin Timberlake." And that was that. Devastating. Never asked her again. But I digress.
So, anyway, the girls continued to judge guys’ hotness despite my protests. And, of course, my beloved Emily was leading the charge. She knew I was uncomfortable and was going for the kill. Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore and turned the tables. I looked at her and said, “Well, it’s obvious that your hormones are raging so I think it’s time we have the talk.” She laughed and replied, “Oh, Daddy…” because she was sure I wouldn’t give her the talk period and definitely not in public. She underestimated me. I just kept going. “You see, Emily,” I said, “sometimes when a man and a woman love each other, they lay together in a special way.” Yep, went straight Old Testament on her. She was now mortified that I was going to continue…and I did. I just needed an effective way to illustrate the value of purity. I looked around for a second and it came to me. “It’s like the salsa and the cheese,” I said while picking up a bowl of each. She and her cousins all looked confused now. “The salsa is like the woman. An incredible creation that is wonderful and pure by itself. And the man is like the cheese, also a tremendous creation that is great by itself. When you put the salsa and the cheese together,” I continued, while mixing the bowls together, “they create con queso- the greatest dip in the world. When you’re married, you’ll want to have con queso frequently. But just always remember this. Once you become con queso, you can never go back to being salsa or cheese. No matter how much more salsa or cheese you add, you will always be con queso.”
So, anyway, the girls continued to judge guys’ hotness despite my protests. And, of course, my beloved Emily was leading the charge. She knew I was uncomfortable and was going for the kill. Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore and turned the tables. I looked at her and said, “Well, it’s obvious that your hormones are raging so I think it’s time we have the talk.” She laughed and replied, “Oh, Daddy…” because she was sure I wouldn’t give her the talk period and definitely not in public. She underestimated me. I just kept going. “You see, Emily,” I said, “sometimes when a man and a woman love each other, they lay together in a special way.” Yep, went straight Old Testament on her. She was now mortified that I was going to continue…and I did. I just needed an effective way to illustrate the value of purity. I looked around for a second and it came to me. “It’s like the salsa and the cheese,” I said while picking up a bowl of each. She and her cousins all looked confused now. “The salsa is like the woman. An incredible creation that is wonderful and pure by itself. And the man is like the cheese, also a tremendous creation that is great by itself. When you put the salsa and the cheese together,” I continued, while mixing the bowls together, “they create con queso- the greatest dip in the world. When you’re married, you’ll want to have con queso frequently. But just always remember this. Once you become con queso, you can never go back to being salsa or cheese. No matter how much more salsa or cheese you add, you will always be con queso.”
Given that Emily will no longer eat Mexican food, I’m gonna say I won that round.
Touche'
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