Like last time, these are actual responses from actual interviewees.
Question- “What can you tell us about the Academy of Military Science and why do you want to join us at this point in your career?”Response #1 (female from somewhere I can’t remember)- “Ever since I went through Squadron Officer School, I thought it would be really cool and rewarding to be on the staff. So when I saw this opportunity, I couldn’t pass it up. Blah, blah, blah.”
- We all looked at each other like, “Are you gonna tell her this is AMS, not SOS?” Nope, I guess not. How do you not even know what job you’re applying for?! Speaking of which…
Question- “What can you tell us about the Academy of Military Science and why do you want to be a Military Training Leader at this point in your career?”Response (male from Tennessee)- “Well, I’m really not even sure what a Military…what did you call it?...is. I saw the ad and thought what the heck. I’m kind of bored in the job I have now. Once I figure out what you’re looking for, I could probably do it.”
- To solidify his standing as a premiere candidate, this joker also showed up in the wrong uniform. It’s a given when you interview for a military job that you wear service dress, even if they tell you to wear whatever you want. He chose to wear the worst Air Force uniform combo ever- BDUs with the green boots. At least he did eventually uncross his legs while answering a question.
Question- “Why should we hire you?”Response #1 (male from Alabama)- “You should hire me because I have great attention-to-detail. I never miss the little things that others do. It’s what separates me from other officers. I think I can teach future officers the same level of attention and precision.”
- Pretty good answer. Well, it would have been a decent answer if the ribbons on his uniform had not been upside down. And if his US insignias had been grounded like they were supposed to be rather than centered. The thought was good, the execution, not so much.
who ran the air war in Iraq.
Response #2 (the rambling male on active duty)- “I didn’t plan on leaving active duty. I wanted to make it a career. Everyone’s been telling me how good I am and then, next thing you know, I’m getting told I have to leave active duty because of the drawdown. I thought I would be safe with my records but I wasn’t. So, anyway, I have to be out in a few months. I have a wife and two kids to support. This seems like something I could do. I mean, I really liked being a maintenance officer. Bottom line, Daddy needs a J-O-B!”
- Amazingly enough, this guy eventually got hired and was a productive member of the staff. However, he never lived his classic responses down. Even now, every time I apply for a job, I say “Daddy needs a J-O-B!”
Response #3 (male already on staff)- He leaned forward, got an intense look on his face, and boomed “Because I’m ready to lead today!!! I don’t need to be trained! I don’t need to spun up! I’m ready to lead today!”
- Seriously, the intensity and force he spoke with was shocking. You got the impression that if he had continued it would’ve gone something like this-- “And if you don’t hire me, I will hunt you down and take your firstborn. Hire me now, on the spot, or I will destroy all of you!” I think the board president, a female colonel, actually recoiled in fear at one point. When he left, she looked at me and asked “Why was he so angry? Is he always that intense? And where can I get a smoke to calm my nerves?”
Response #4 (yours truly)- “It’s like I always say…”
- That’s right. I quoted myself during an interview. Brilliant! Could help explain why I’m going to retire as a major. Haven’t lived that one down yet.
Sometimes before the interview even gets started, things can go awry. For instance, this is an actual exchange between a board president and a candidate:
Board president- “Do you have any questions before we start?”
Candidate- “No, Sir.”
Board president- “Okay. Don’t be distracted if you see us writing during your answers. We’re just trying to make notes of what you say. Could be good, could be bad. Ready?”
Candidate- (stunned looked, suddenly pale) “Ummm, sure, I guess.”
Here’s another one:
Board president- (long, long pause) “Tell us a little (long, long blink) about yourself?” (Another eternal blink)
Candidate- (Staring aimlessly into space, refusing to blink, not saying a word for a solid minute) Me (inside my head)- Open your eyes…blink… open your eyes…blink…seriously, you’re both starting to weird me out…Is he asleep?...does she have some disorder where she can’t blink?…wonder if I could switch chairs before he opened his eyes and she blinked?...I would never get into a staring contest with her...Man, this is freaky…someday I’m gonna blog about all these crazy things.
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