How Not to Get a Job

During my time at AMS, I had the pleasure of sitting on numerous interview boards.  Actually, I wouldn’t say it was a “pleasure.”  Frankly, it was shocking how bad most people are at interviews.  On the bright side, it makes for great blog material.  These are actual responses from actual applicants.

Question- “Who is your favorite Icon of Airpower and how would you use their influence in training Officer Candidates?”

Response #1 (female from Alabama)- “Woo wee!  That’s a hard one!  I don’t really know much about Icons.  And, clearly, from my initial response of yelling woo wee in the middle of an interview, I’m never going to be one.  Wow, I sure wish I had paid better attention in school when we covered these.  I think I’ll phone a friend.”

-   Okay, I may have embellished that slightly…but not much. 

Response #2 (another female from Alabama)- After lots of stammering, “Well, I guess I would say Gen McKinley.  I mean, a few months ago he was a 3-star general, and now I read where he’s a 4-star general.  How did that happen?”

-   I believe the technical military term for it is a “promotion.”  But don’t worry, I don’t think it’s a concept you’re going to need to be familiar with.

Response #3 (male from Alabama)- “Um, well, I guess I would say the guy who ran the air war in Iraq.  I don’t know what his name is but, man, he had a lot of responsibility.”

-   Really?  You can’t just break out with Billy Mitchell?  Everyone in the Air Force knows if they get an asinine question like this to go with Billy Mitchell.

-  By the way, anyone else picking up on a trend?  I’m not saying, I’m just saying.

Question- “What is an area you’ve been told you need to improve since being commissioned?”

-   This is usually where you get all the humble bragging.  You get the standard responses of:

o   “I’m just too hard on myself.  I expect everything to be perfect.”

o   “I’m so dedicated to the mission that I have a hard time leaving work.”

-   Translation- I’m so good at what I do that I have to turn a positive into a negative so I can answer this question.  We got a much more honest answer this particular time.

Response (male on active duty)- “I’ve been told the men in my family ramble.  I don’t know, maybe we do.  I don’t think I ramble.  At least not usually.  Sometimes I get worked up and ramble some.  But that’s rare.  I usually just answer the question and move on.  Kinda depends on the question, you know?  Sometimes it takes longer to answer a question.  Sometimes you can get straight to the point.  Now, my dad, he definitely rambles.  If you ask him a question, it’s gonna take a while for him to answer.  Know what I mean?  He’s not one to get straight to the point.  He will go on and on and on.  So, again, I don’t think I do that.  I try to give clear and concise answers.  My granddad, he’s a lot like my dad.  He’ll ramble on for hours if you let him. ..”

-   This went on for 22 MINUTES!  Thank goodness it was phone interview so he couldn’t see our faces.  We finally had to cut him off because it was time for the next interview.  I’m gonna say he had not quite cracked that nut.  There was still work to do.

Speaking of rambling, I’ve gone on too long.  I think I’ll turn this into a 2-parter.  Check back next week for the next installment.